Did I Right That?

We are human (Duh) which means we make mistakes. I think that is the definition of human, but there are times in my life were I feel like the mistakes define me and not the other "stuff". Do you ever get so focused on a mistake that you find that your day is ruined?

Sometimes the mistakes are so trivial...even not in retrospect but since my expectations are set before the mistake is made, once I have made the mistake, emotionally there is no going back.

So now I have made some mistake. I work in food services and many people's meals are dependent on my proficiency. Maybe I forgot to order the food or maybe I switched the days of the week in my head and now I am preparing for the wrong group. These are the small fiasco's in life, the ones that we can sweat it out and let the chips fall where they may. It isn't like I live in a barren desert. Okay, I do live in a desert but a rather well stocked one by most perspectives. If I forgot an order I can usually make do (and more) with what is in the storeroom. But that doesn't matter. Once I have made the mistake, the rest of the day I question myself.

Okay, that is the small stuff. But what about the big stuff, life and death stuff. We often say it is more important to learn from your mistakes than not make them, but when the mistakes profoundly effect other people, there can be no solace for the victims because a lesson will be learned.

This type of mistake takes forever to heal. Even after the physical scars have healed (if at all) , the memory of that mistake is paralyzing. It is the memory of those mistakes that bothers me even more then the actual mistake and now I feel even more guilty for focusing on me again. Why should I even worry about my mistake when others have suffered, are suffering because of what I did ...or sometimes because what I did not do? Can we ever let these events go completely? Can someone who makes an egregious life altering error let the past go completely? Aren't we meant to be responsible? Is there a statue of limitations on repentance? On the other hand, if we are only regret, what are we?

In a recent Freakonmics podcast I heard Stephen Dubner say,"Bad things happen, it is what we do afterwards that matters."

I believe this is where true heroism is displayed. Someone who never does, will never err, but will never then need to reflect on his ways and find a way to "live with himself" despite his errors.

Today I will try and make tomorrow a better day.