When I am depressed a happy memory can get me through the day. Has this happened to you? Have you been down and all of a sudden something reminds you of a time when you were happier and that is enough to bring you from the depths and set you aright? Recently I had chance to reaffirm this while I was travelling with my family in New York City.
I met up with an old friend who is a successful Broadway actor living the dream in the Big Apple. We sort of grew up in similar surroundings. That is to say we both grew up in suburbia, middle class, actively Jewish family. Beyond those parameters I don't really know. I did have the opportunity to be part of a few productions he was involved in and although he claims we were onstage together I don't remember that. I do remember assistant directing a holiday production he acted and sang in but to avoid any embarrassment I won't go into details.
So it was about 30 + years since I had seen him and I was thrilled to be able to spend some time chatting over a cup of Joe and just playing catch up. He had some very exciting news to share and we were thrilled to be part of that. I don't know how much of an impression the whole thing was on my boys but they too seemed grateful for this pause in our busy travel schedule and his acting life for us to act like New Yorkers for a few minutes and not the tourists that we really were.
We each talked about what we are doing now and managed to insert a few dull memories. Do you remember so and so, or do you remember when...? Most of the memories have faded. He asked me about an acting job I had and then we told him about our trip to New York so far. He then mentioned that he too had tried out for a part at said theater..and when the dust settled we had both tried out for the same part, but I had gotten it!
Wow. It was even sweeter than having landed the part in the first place.
Like today's Redskins gloating over the fact that they beat the Super Bowl Champion NY Giants - TWICE in the same season. It really doesn't matter if their season was a complete flop, but by virtue of the fact that their was a past success against a team that went on to take the crown dulls the pain. Just knowing that I had tried out for a part and got it over someone who is now a known NY celeb is fuel for my ego which will last me until my next "blue"day... at least until tomorrow.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Monday, February 20, 2012
Monogamous or Magnanimous
The burning question that every male asks and reasks is, "Is the male species, by nature, monogamous? Was man (and woman) meant to cling (or cleave) to one partner for their entire life? or are we fighting human nature by inventing an institution of partnership that was (perhaps) a survival technique that is now antiquated. Okay maybe not every male will admit to asking this but I have asked this question more than once so that is good enough for me.
What's the diff? I suppose it doesn't really matter in the long run but if I were to know what is my human nature I could then decide to fight it or embrace it. I suppose it would save me the guilt. There are times I am convinced that man is monogamous. Many are the time when my partner and I really compliment one another and I don't mean:
"Oh you look very nice today."
"Why thank you. You are also dressed very smart."
Ech. Yuk
No, I mean that our parenting styles and our family building is complimentary one to the other. There are also plenty of times when I find that my better half becomes my spiritual and emotional compass. The world often confuses me and without the direction she gives me I would be an even bigger babble of blabber. I can't imagine anyone but a life partner could give such rescuing comfort when the going gets rough.
On the other hand the question of who is that partner perplexes me. I don't really believe in the "One" - please no religious tangents. That is to say that there is only one, numerical one, fatefully one, custom soul mate tailored for you. I don't accept that. Sure you can't take two strangers off the street and expect them to match but if I were to believe that there was only "uno" person in the world "right for me" than I would spend my days wondering if I had found them instead of living my days with the person I chose to be with.
It is sort of a life versus love theory. You can search for love as much as you want, but at some point you also have to live the life or do you live the lust?
I mean what is lust anyway? Wait don't answer because you also get a Ginsu knife. Isn't lust one of the more animal aspects of our human nature? Lust provides us with an animal attraction to "compliment" our emotional attraction and I don't mean:
"Oh you look very nice today."
"Why thank you. You are also undressed."
Perhaps lust has received a bad rap. According to one source, one of the definitions of lust is "a passionate or overmastering desire or craving." Why that sounds a lot like love too.
One last comment; if we are meant to be monogamous, than lust is to too ...lusty too unchecked too uncontrolled. If however our nature is more complex, than lust is not a bad thing to desire.
Neil
If I have wasted some of your time, please also visit http://malphas-minimus.blogspot.com/ for a complete waste of time!
What's the diff? I suppose it doesn't really matter in the long run but if I were to know what is my human nature I could then decide to fight it or embrace it. I suppose it would save me the guilt. There are times I am convinced that man is monogamous. Many are the time when my partner and I really compliment one another and I don't mean:
"Oh you look very nice today."
"Why thank you. You are also dressed very smart."
Ech. Yuk
No, I mean that our parenting styles and our family building is complimentary one to the other. There are also plenty of times when I find that my better half becomes my spiritual and emotional compass. The world often confuses me and without the direction she gives me I would be an even bigger babble of blabber. I can't imagine anyone but a life partner could give such rescuing comfort when the going gets rough.
On the other hand the question of who is that partner perplexes me. I don't really believe in the "One" - please no religious tangents. That is to say that there is only one, numerical one, fatefully one, custom soul mate tailored for you. I don't accept that. Sure you can't take two strangers off the street and expect them to match but if I were to believe that there was only "uno" person in the world "right for me" than I would spend my days wondering if I had found them instead of living my days with the person I chose to be with.
It is sort of a life versus love theory. You can search for love as much as you want, but at some point you also have to live the life or do you live the lust?
I mean what is lust anyway? Wait don't answer because you also get a Ginsu knife. Isn't lust one of the more animal aspects of our human nature? Lust provides us with an animal attraction to "compliment" our emotional attraction and I don't mean:
"Oh you look very nice today."
"Why thank you. You are also undressed."
Perhaps lust has received a bad rap. According to one source, one of the definitions of lust is "a passionate or overmastering desire or craving." Why that sounds a lot like love too.
One last comment; if we are meant to be monogamous, than lust is to too ...lusty too unchecked too uncontrolled. If however our nature is more complex, than lust is not a bad thing to desire.
Neil
If I have wasted some of your time, please also visit http://malphas-minimus.blogspot.com/ for a complete waste of time!
Monday, February 13, 2012
My Memory - a Total Recall
When I try to imagine what a "real" timeline is like I imagine a straight line. That is to say my life has a point at which I am currently occupying and many points leading up to that moment and the next logical space in front of my current position would be the point directly in front of me. As usual, my imagination fails me, because if I then try to imagine your timeline it is also a straight one. Initially I see many parallel lines but that can't be correct. Our lines must intersect. Not only must they intersect but they often intersect at several way points. We meet up at such random moments, births, funerals, water aerobics and of course * social media. To me the most surprising moments are those that seem to wrap up memory fragments from my deep past. Memory fragments that combine a present tense experience with a past tense moment, unfortunately as this is happening I am simultaneously asking myself if the present tense experience is happening and if the past tense moment existed in the first place. Just like deja vu except not.
I am sure you have felt the way I often do about memory. My memory is damaged. No really, I mean completely deep fried but still active. If Intel were to inspect my brain there would be an immediate and total recall (no connection to the story of the same name). Now I am trying to imagine what it would be like to live life without cognizant memory. I don't mean that you wouldn't know how to tie your shoelaces, dial a phone, or stick a stamp on to an envelope which are all antiquated anyway. I mean you would not have with what to compare your present day experiences.
One of my own personal issues I have is with expectations or more specifically my own expectations. It might be hard to admit but my expectations get in the way of rational thinking. I might decide to do something or more likely not to do something because of certain expectations. I am not going to the ballet because the last time I went I fell asleep. (Of course it was in the car on the way even before the performance started, but that isn't the point.) or the last time I went to see The Terminator it was before my wife dumped me so I am not going to see another movie with Linda Hamilton. If I could not recall these previous experiences I would more than likely use other criteria to make my decisions, like I don't like to see men in tights so I won't go to the ballet or "Who the hell is Linda Hamilton anyway?".
Rare is the moment when I jump into the abyss knowingly. If I know...or more accurately if I believe I am going to get hurt, experience pain, or lose in an endeavor I do not step up. Frodo's ring would never have left the Shire if it was up to me. It would still be lost at the bottom of the junk drawer under the microwave covered by my private collection of unusable measuring cups and beer bottle openers that are too small to be useful. Sauron would still be foiled but my method is less than Tolkien. I suppose that could be the definition of courage, when people knowingly leap into a certainty hoping to either have some profound affect on the situation and to make a change or because they believe there is only one right way to act. This could also be the definition of grain alcohol.
So is it better to know? or not to know? I don't know.
According to Dict.com
* Social Media is defined as voluntary spam.
I am sure you have felt the way I often do about memory. My memory is damaged. No really, I mean completely deep fried but still active. If Intel were to inspect my brain there would be an immediate and total recall (no connection to the story of the same name). Now I am trying to imagine what it would be like to live life without cognizant memory. I don't mean that you wouldn't know how to tie your shoelaces, dial a phone, or stick a stamp on to an envelope which are all antiquated anyway. I mean you would not have with what to compare your present day experiences.
One of my own personal issues I have is with expectations or more specifically my own expectations. It might be hard to admit but my expectations get in the way of rational thinking. I might decide to do something or more likely not to do something because of certain expectations. I am not going to the ballet because the last time I went I fell asleep. (Of course it was in the car on the way even before the performance started, but that isn't the point.) or the last time I went to see The Terminator it was before my wife dumped me so I am not going to see another movie with Linda Hamilton. If I could not recall these previous experiences I would more than likely use other criteria to make my decisions, like I don't like to see men in tights so I won't go to the ballet or "Who the hell is Linda Hamilton anyway?".
Rare is the moment when I jump into the abyss knowingly. If I know...or more accurately if I believe I am going to get hurt, experience pain, or lose in an endeavor I do not step up. Frodo's ring would never have left the Shire if it was up to me. It would still be lost at the bottom of the junk drawer under the microwave covered by my private collection of unusable measuring cups and beer bottle openers that are too small to be useful. Sauron would still be foiled but my method is less than Tolkien. I suppose that could be the definition of courage, when people knowingly leap into a certainty hoping to either have some profound affect on the situation and to make a change or because they believe there is only one right way to act. This could also be the definition of grain alcohol.
So is it better to know? or not to know? I don't know.
According to Dict.com
* Social Media is defined as voluntary spam.
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