Maybe the Mayan's Were Right?

Special Edition!
(Note the bold print)

I know you have been as worried about this week's big news as much, if not more, as I have been worried. I have been so worried, (How worried are you?) that not only did I sell my Facebook stock, draft a new will, added new entries to the bucket list, but I also secured cryogenic treatment for me and my cat. Cat you say?

No, I am not referring to Mitt Romney, the MLB draft, or Lebron James, but to the Bart Jansen's tribute to his cat Orville whom he (and I am not making this up) turned into a helicopter after he (Orville not Bart) was killed by a car.

We can understand this behavior in two ways:
1. Okay, he is Dutch and that explains just about every weird behavior from turning your deceased feline into a predator drone to eating french fries with pindasaus (a creative sauce made from the insides of a dead cats intestines - or some other products).

2. The other way to explain the captivating cat copter is, "What the f*** are you thinking Bart OMG Jansen? Your cat is erased off the planet by a speeding Hyundai your first thought is...hey let's take him for a spin around the living room...hmmm but how to make it easier?"

Okay...calm down, it isn't as if he was a crowned prince who threw a toilet to celebrate his Queen's birthday. What the hell is going on over there in Holland. Next they are going to start a new tourist indurstry for bed & break up.

Perhaps in retrospect, flying your cat over your ex's toilet is not so bad. I am trying to imagine what is next but all I can do is gag up a hair ball.

And speaking of gagging up hair balls, every time I see a rodent now I can only imagine what size beer container might fit inside it's carcass. Now technically this is not news or Dutch, but I bet they had the Dutch in mind when they brewed this idea up.

Do we go too far in immortalizing our pets? Turning them into helicopters or attractive beverage dispensers is only the tip of the iceberg. Just wait until someone wants to turn good old Fluffy into a reading lamp or  Spot into a hood ornament. It is just a matter of time.

Perhaps the Mayan's were right and that the end of the world is now. I think technology has hit its peak when we take the time to transform dead animals into knick knacks. Bring on Armageddon baby. Let us all just cash in our collective Facebook stock together and join that great social network in the sky when all we have to show are stuffed quadrupeds.

Since you are as concerned with this nonsense as I am, lets spread the news. Lets get the word out that we don't want to see former snakes turned into golf club warmers or or passed fish into tinkle toys, or Jocko the ex-parrot stuffed as a back-scratcher. Let our pets rest in peace. Spread the word by land and sea, and air...I hear their is a helicopter once named Orville for hire.