Stronger Memories

So you have brushed your teeth and are about to climb into bed when something reminds you of a memory. Sometimes, for me, it is a song that is playing, an advertisement on the radio, a smell, or just random neurons that fire in a logic that defies all logic. My wife and I like to refer to this phenomenon as "synapses". Does this happen to you?

Now if the memory was a good one, it might ease the transition to REM, but if it is a painful memory it might be enough to postpone the much desired sleep until the wee (I think this refers to the mid hours of the night when I usually have the urge to get up and pee) hours of the night.

So on such a given night I might lay awake trying to find away to exorcise the bad feelings, perhaps by replacing them with a more positive memory. I also like to try and run fantasy scenarios in my head to distract me, but I find I have to put a lot of effort into designing a fantasy or conjuring that good-vibed memory chock full of restorative energy that I start to wonder if "bad" memories are stronger than "good" memories.

So for this blog it is off to Goo Goo land. So I first delve into an article in Psychology Today entitled, "All Memory Is Not Created Equal--Positive Memory Seepage", in the introduction I learned that, "Intrusive thoughts are not just bad thoughts or flashbacks. They can be intrusive from positive memories as well."


So now I am completely screwed, not only do bad thoughts intrude on my personage but good ones too? Now I just want to block out everything. According to the article good memories are easier to recall than bad and that the bad memories serve an important function for "emotional reinforcement". Wow, if bad memories provide emotional reinforcement than I am Fort Knox.


I am not even close to being the only person blogging about this too. There seems to be a lot of discussion regarding emotional influence on our memories. I think that makes some sense to me, that events that inspired stronger emotions will have a longer staying power and I would imagine a greater chance to work their way into my life when I least expect it. That is probably why I don't remember any French even though I studied it for (gulp) seven years of hard labor..or is that laború or something. I was never inspired by my French studies and my only achievement was to juggle for my French teacher which at the very least amused her. It didn't help when she said, "Ah now we know what you are good at." Of course, she might have said something else, I didn't really understand because she said it in French (I think). I did learn something in French class though. I can ask for a cheese omelette but that is about it, on the other hand I can tell you what I was wearing and what I ate for lunch the day I sneezed all over Laurie S. (name withheld for the sake of some privacy and because my brain has erased some vital memory slots reserved for remembering all the words to every Monty Python sketch ever written) in Junior High. I went to an "open" junior high and so literally everybody in the school could see and hear my faux pas (more French!) as I covered the back of her head with adolescent snot molecules. Sure, you couldn't really see anything, but the coodie patrol was all over it. Actually, I think only I noticed it and that Laurie was rather non-chalant (French ?)..or as non-chalant as any young female teen can be, but to me I had dropped my pants in front of the entire school only to realize I was wearing Spider-Man pajama briefs underneath. This is a memory that will stick with me for the rest of my life and I would not describe it as particularly positive to me although if I saw it in a movie, or as a commercial for industrial strength shampoo it might cause a chuckle or two.

If everybody including scientific studies say that positive memories are more accessible and long lasting than negative ones, why do I feel like the bad memories are winning the war for emotional balance? Why do I struggle with blocking memories? Perhaps if I can really relax the good memories will eventually win and the bad memories will subside and retire deep into my brain stem unless, of course, I have to sneeze again.

Cheese omelette anybody?