How long has it been since you looked in your lover's eyes and rediscovered the spark that ignited when you "knew"? There are times when that feeling seems completely absent in my life and I am worried that we "out grow" the ability to be ...for lack of a better word..."enchanted". I often look at my kids and think how jealous I am having many of their "firsts" still ahead of them. Remember your first crush/love? Just sit back and try and recapture the feeling the first time you looked at another and your heart was firing on all pistons. In my case I never even said a word to the girl but that didn't matter. It wasn't being with that girl that was important, it was just the fact of being in love and knowing that you have it in your heart to have that strong a feeling was so..so enchanting and mystifying.
A quick retreat to the Goo Goo and I see enchanted is defined as "great charm and fascination", it is also a movie with Amy Adams and Susan Sarandon (no relation to the cling wrap). The definition leaves me less than enchanted. There is an odd combination of charm, wonder and suddenness that really describes the feeling I am driving at. I am sure you know it too. I suppose we can best describe the feeling in terms of human experience. For example, I felt that way the first time I touched the skin of a dolphin or when canoeing down the south fork of the Potomac having a bald eagle swoop over our craft as both the eagle and I looked for a good fishing spot. Sometimes the same experience at a different time has charm like powers. I probably made a face the first time I tasted coq au vin but when I was twelve it was the most marvelous dish I had tasted next to my mother's marinated chuck steaks. You might think this feeling is trivial but to me it seems basic and well...healthy. There are probably special hormones created at these times that are fundamental for a healthy life.
How long has it been since you looked at a bird with simple amazement as it flapped its wings and rose to take on the breeze and challenge the sky? We have the time. I know we have the time. I regularly look up at the moon or study the changing mountains here in the desert but I rarely marvel at them. Am I just too jaded? I would like to think we can't out grown those feelings. Sometime when I look at "older" people, I wonder if I am seeing the real them or if this is just what is left after the life has slowly drained from them. I guess I also wonder if I am going to be the kind of retiree that complains about nearly everything and examines things rather than appreciating them. Will any of my patience be left when I am seeing the other side of life? As if I have any patience to begin with.
When do we lose that abilty to marvel at the simple. It isn't just a case of stopping and smelling the roses either. I feel my generation is so lucky in that the amount of "free" time we have to stop and enjoy life is good and plenty. Sure that dosen't inherently mean that we use that time to "appreciate life". That was what was so cool about being twelve (or whatever) you didn't have to stop life to turn the masonary work on the sidewalk into a playground, a fantasy game, or an easel to bleed your creativity upon.
So, is this just an age thing? or can be turn back the emotional clock and recapture the ability to wonder with amazement? I am afraid it isn't just a matter of yoga and meditation although not far from those practices. I think it is a skill. Just like other skills, if we do not exercise that skill, train and properly hone the talent we lose it it gradually even if we excelled at it when we were younger. So what do we do? First we have to decide that we want to be enchanted. This is a big step and one that is too easily overlooked. At times I feel like I am done with being enchanted. Let's just live and forget the crap, but then too much time goes by and the feeling of life becomes hollow. We must experience to nourish the soul. So, having gotten here we have to consciously decide to practice our wonder and amazement. I am no expert but I suggest that new experiences are the most important spark in developing these feelings and fortifying the ability to recreate them. Even the word virgin pulls triggers in our subconscious that are powerful. We have to trod in virgin territory and savor each step. Place yourself in many marvelous situations and consciously lead our mind down the positive. Arts, sports, social activities wherever you can find it. Be greedy with your desire to experience and never feel like it is enough. As we develop we have to construct and use a language of positiveness and enrich it with charming amulets of syntax (I always liked that word syntax..especially the syn part). The language we infuse in our lives is the language of our feelings. It isn't necessary to express feelings with other people but to describe to ourselves how we are and what kind of spiritual progress we are making.
So let's do it. Lets go out into the world and marvel, wonder and be enchanted. Recently a friend of mine was describing a situation with a family member calling her progress a small miracle. Do you know the what the difference between a small miracle and a large miracle is?
Nothing.
See you after your next miraculous enchantment.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Seder - the tradition of being well red
It is interesting to note that the holiday with the most restrictions and religious legal demands also leaves room for a huge range of tradition and variation. Have you ever wondered if your holiday traditions run specific to your own family?
I remember the first time we did Passover seder with a family whose tradition it was to use Romaine lettuce for Maror. I thought this was the most weird and exotic thing. I mean after all, doesn't everybody use the horseradish for Maror? It was only at this time did I realize that many of the rituals I had learned were actually traditions that took centuries to develop and evolve. Not only would I find out that there is more than one way to skin a "Maror" but that often "my" traditions were in the minority. So why was this seder different from all other seders?
Passover demands many things from its followers. Not only do we have to rid leavened products from our diet but from our homes and every thing we come in contact with. We are not even allowed to own products that might become leavened. Typically one will start cleaning the house a few weeks before the holiday but the end game from house to house is similar, but come seder night each table can look distinctly different.
Just look at the Haroseth on the table. This food is meant to remind us of the hardship of slavery, perhaps symbolic of the mortar that held the bricks together and yet is usually a sweet dish. It may have apples, honey, dates, prune juice, cinnamon, walnuts, raisins or other dried fruits. Haroseth is one of the main guests on our seder plate and yet a myriad of traditions as to what this dish is and to what is symbolizes.
One of the main complications in traditions comes from the tradition of some to not eat certain foods which are not outright forbidden but have been removed from the "fly list" by years and years of practice. This becomes an issue when inviting other people over, but if we can remember that each person's tradition can be mutually honored than a solution will present itself.
I can't help think about the future of our traditions. What of the traditions that we have now will my children take with them and what rituals will they adopt along the way. Adopting and inventing are two things that come hard for me even though intellectually I believe it is good. My life partner and I have similar Passover traditions so we have less tension around holiday ritual, but perhaps those tensions are used to expand our horizons, like me and the Romaine lettuce which I now find out has a very substantial following and even stronger Halachic background. I can't go back on my radish for Karpas though. I draw the line at having the radish to dip in salt water.
For me the seder is complete when I see the radish because I can hear my father (even when he is doing his seder far away in his home) say with an ironic voice. "... and now we will eat the radish...a green vegetable...(laugh laugh)...borei pri HaAdomah". My father always says the word Adomah with a Yiddish accent. It was only later in life when my Hebrew was a bit better that I understood the double-entendre...since Adomah (meaning the earth but also the color red) accurately describes the color of the radish too.
Next year in Jerusalem! (with lots of radishes)
I remember the first time we did Passover seder with a family whose tradition it was to use Romaine lettuce for Maror. I thought this was the most weird and exotic thing. I mean after all, doesn't everybody use the horseradish for Maror? It was only at this time did I realize that many of the rituals I had learned were actually traditions that took centuries to develop and evolve. Not only would I find out that there is more than one way to skin a "Maror" but that often "my" traditions were in the minority. So why was this seder different from all other seders?
Passover demands many things from its followers. Not only do we have to rid leavened products from our diet but from our homes and every thing we come in contact with. We are not even allowed to own products that might become leavened. Typically one will start cleaning the house a few weeks before the holiday but the end game from house to house is similar, but come seder night each table can look distinctly different.
Just look at the Haroseth on the table. This food is meant to remind us of the hardship of slavery, perhaps symbolic of the mortar that held the bricks together and yet is usually a sweet dish. It may have apples, honey, dates, prune juice, cinnamon, walnuts, raisins or other dried fruits. Haroseth is one of the main guests on our seder plate and yet a myriad of traditions as to what this dish is and to what is symbolizes.
One of the main complications in traditions comes from the tradition of some to not eat certain foods which are not outright forbidden but have been removed from the "fly list" by years and years of practice. This becomes an issue when inviting other people over, but if we can remember that each person's tradition can be mutually honored than a solution will present itself.
I can't help think about the future of our traditions. What of the traditions that we have now will my children take with them and what rituals will they adopt along the way. Adopting and inventing are two things that come hard for me even though intellectually I believe it is good. My life partner and I have similar Passover traditions so we have less tension around holiday ritual, but perhaps those tensions are used to expand our horizons, like me and the Romaine lettuce which I now find out has a very substantial following and even stronger Halachic background. I can't go back on my radish for Karpas though. I draw the line at having the radish to dip in salt water.
For me the seder is complete when I see the radish because I can hear my father (even when he is doing his seder far away in his home) say with an ironic voice. "... and now we will eat the radish...a green vegetable...(laugh laugh)...borei pri HaAdomah". My father always says the word Adomah with a Yiddish accent. It was only later in life when my Hebrew was a bit better that I understood the double-entendre...since Adomah (meaning the earth but also the color red) accurately describes the color of the radish too.
Next year in Jerusalem! (with lots of radishes)
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Forget It
It is Passover time. It is spring and that means chocolate covered food products, odd shaped bread, budding romances, and sharing your home with friends and family, but before we can get to all that we need to prepare. Yup time to clean out the old in preparation for the new.
One theory goes that when most homes were heated using coal, by the end of the winter the grime needed to be cleaned out of the system. Spring afforded the first opportunity to open the windows and sweep the chimney. If you were already sweeping out the chimney you had to move everything outside (or cover it). This prompted a whole series of cleaning issues and so the cleaning would go on ad nauseum until the end of spring.
My theory goes farther back. I like to believe that our holiday cycle is tied with agrarian roots. Since wheat was a major stabilizer for the home unit the wheat cycle dictated many holiday practices. At the end of the winter, families would clean out their granary before harvesting the new. The importance can not be downplayed. Old grain will spoil and jeopardize the new harvest so thorough cleaning is a matter of feast or famish. Clearing out the old created a temporary excess of food. This late winter excess was now "use it or loose it". So people partied. Sort of a last hurah before the harvest. After all the status of the crops was already determined, time to party. This is the carnival season. Once the goodies are consumed you are left with only the bare minimum to scrape through until the grain is processed, this would be the period of austerity, Passover, Lent etc.
In the Passover ritual we are focused on leavened and unleavened bread. It is well documented that the ancient Egyptians mastered the arts of yeast in bread and beer. The Egyptians were advanced in many sciences and food production was no exception. Leavened breads became a symbol of the dynasty while anything not Egyptian was unleavened. If on the passover holiday we are emphasising our not Egyptian qualities no better way to embody the message but by forbiddening yeasted products.
I want to know if we can clear out the chametz we have in our minds, get rid of our spiritual chametz, detox the chametz completly out of the system. Can we dislodge those stuck chametzadik memories and stubborn qualities from our mind, or can we filter out so that essentially the memories do not exist.
I always wondered about meditation as a way to control these thoughts. I know that some people use yoga or meditation and such but I had one bad experience with meditation and I can't imagine trying again. I won't go into the details but lets just say it involved a certain mention of JC (who is not my father!).
I find it rather funny that about a month before Passover (from Purim on, perhaps) bread ceases to be bread but it is seen as chametz. I wonder if we end up eating more of it (to make up for what we will be denied) or less of it (in psychic preperation for the unleavened hoiday)? There also seem to be a few weirdos that think it is some kind of a mitzva to not eat bread before Passover starts. Guess what? It is no mitzva. So essen mine kinder. I don't know how many of you feel this way, but after we have cleaned and scrubbed and burned and rid our selves of chametz, the first crumbs of matza that "soil" the kitchen counter are like holy water on the altar. We need a little mess in our lives, even if it is K4P.
In the end, this time period, is all about cleaning. Interestingly we do not focus on the spiritual cleaning. We reserve the spiritual cleaning for after the summer, before we return to the fields to plant. That is when we need divine intervention the most. The Passover season is saying thanks for the intervention that we have been gifted with. Now we have to grab a dust buster and get cracking. So enough blogging and more cleaning. Oh, by the way, don't forget to empty your recycle bin and sent items etc. Don' t focus on the past. Move on to the future.
Chag Sameach - Happy Holiday
BTW:
In the next Blog I will be asking you about your holiday memories. If you have any you want to share with me I might include them in the blog!
One theory goes that when most homes were heated using coal, by the end of the winter the grime needed to be cleaned out of the system. Spring afforded the first opportunity to open the windows and sweep the chimney. If you were already sweeping out the chimney you had to move everything outside (or cover it). This prompted a whole series of cleaning issues and so the cleaning would go on ad nauseum until the end of spring.
My theory goes farther back. I like to believe that our holiday cycle is tied with agrarian roots. Since wheat was a major stabilizer for the home unit the wheat cycle dictated many holiday practices. At the end of the winter, families would clean out their granary before harvesting the new. The importance can not be downplayed. Old grain will spoil and jeopardize the new harvest so thorough cleaning is a matter of feast or famish. Clearing out the old created a temporary excess of food. This late winter excess was now "use it or loose it". So people partied. Sort of a last hurah before the harvest. After all the status of the crops was already determined, time to party. This is the carnival season. Once the goodies are consumed you are left with only the bare minimum to scrape through until the grain is processed, this would be the period of austerity, Passover, Lent etc.
In the Passover ritual we are focused on leavened and unleavened bread. It is well documented that the ancient Egyptians mastered the arts of yeast in bread and beer. The Egyptians were advanced in many sciences and food production was no exception. Leavened breads became a symbol of the dynasty while anything not Egyptian was unleavened. If on the passover holiday we are emphasising our not Egyptian qualities no better way to embody the message but by forbiddening yeasted products.
I want to know if we can clear out the chametz we have in our minds, get rid of our spiritual chametz, detox the chametz completly out of the system. Can we dislodge those stuck chametzadik memories and stubborn qualities from our mind, or can we filter out so that essentially the memories do not exist.
I always wondered about meditation as a way to control these thoughts. I know that some people use yoga or meditation and such but I had one bad experience with meditation and I can't imagine trying again. I won't go into the details but lets just say it involved a certain mention of JC (who is not my father!).
I find it rather funny that about a month before Passover (from Purim on, perhaps) bread ceases to be bread but it is seen as chametz. I wonder if we end up eating more of it (to make up for what we will be denied) or less of it (in psychic preperation for the unleavened hoiday)? There also seem to be a few weirdos that think it is some kind of a mitzva to not eat bread before Passover starts. Guess what? It is no mitzva. So essen mine kinder. I don't know how many of you feel this way, but after we have cleaned and scrubbed and burned and rid our selves of chametz, the first crumbs of matza that "soil" the kitchen counter are like holy water on the altar. We need a little mess in our lives, even if it is K4P.
In the end, this time period, is all about cleaning. Interestingly we do not focus on the spiritual cleaning. We reserve the spiritual cleaning for after the summer, before we return to the fields to plant. That is when we need divine intervention the most. The Passover season is saying thanks for the intervention that we have been gifted with. Now we have to grab a dust buster and get cracking. So enough blogging and more cleaning. Oh, by the way, don't forget to empty your recycle bin and sent items etc. Don' t focus on the past. Move on to the future.
Chag Sameach - Happy Holiday
BTW:
In the next Blog I will be asking you about your holiday memories. If you have any you want to share with me I might include them in the blog!
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